My child struggles to make friends

Seeing your child alone can be painful. Before deciding that they are shy, antisocial, or being rejected, it helps to understand exactly where the difficulty appears.

Short answer

Listen without labelling. Observe whether the challenge is starting contact, joining a group, maintaining play, handling disagreement, or finding children with shared interests.

What you can do

Ask about specific situations rather than “Why don't you make friends?”

“What happens when you want to join a game?”

“Is there anyone you enjoy being with?”

“What part feels hardest?”

You can practise simple ways to approach others, suggest an activity, ask to join, or respond when someone says no.

Creating opportunities with one child at a time can sometimes be easier than expecting a child to enter a large group.

What to avoid

Avoid comparing your child with more sociable children or defining them as “the shy one.” Do not force friendships or turn every social situation into a performance test.

When to look more closely

If your child is distressed, repeatedly excluded, being bullied, or social difficulties significantly affect everyday life, coordinate with the school and consider professional guidance when appropriate.