One sibling hits the other. What should I do?
When one child hits another, the first priority is clear: stop the harm. Understanding why it happened comes after safety.
Short answer
Intervene calmly and physically if necessary to prevent further hitting. Do not try to solve the whole conflict while everyone is overwhelmed.
What you can do
Separate enough to make the situation safe.
“I won't let you hit.”
“I'm going to help you both calm down first.”
Once the intensity has fallen, listen to what happened without assuming that understanding the reason excuses the hitting.
Help the child who hit find another response for next time and take part in repair when appropriate. Also attend to the child who was hurt rather than focusing all attention on the aggressor.
What to avoid
Avoid hitting back, humiliating, labelling one child as aggressive, or automatically deciding that one sibling is always the victim and the other always the problem.
Forced apologies made in the peak of anger rarely teach repair.
If it keeps happening
Look at triggers, power differences, recurring disputes, adult responses, and whether one child is repeatedly unable to stay safe.
Frequent or severe aggression deserves closer attention.
When to seek help
Seek professional guidance if aggression is intense, persistent, causes significant injury, involves fear or coercion, or cannot be managed safely at home.
Tell Kora about the last incident: what happened before the hit, what each child did, and what you did next. The sequence matters.
