How to prepare your child for a new sibling

A new baby changes the whole family system. Preparing an older child is not about convincing them that they will love every part of the change.

Short answer

Explain what is going to happen in a simple, realistic way. Make room for mixed feelings and protect your child's sense that they still have a secure place in the family.

What you can do

Talk about the baby before the birth in ways your child can understand. Explain some practical changes: where the baby will sleep, who will care for your child during the birth, and what babies can and cannot do at first.

Invite involvement without making it an obligation.

“Would you like to help choose something for the baby?”

“You don't have to be happy about everything. You can tell me when something is hard.”

Try to preserve familiar routines and individual moments of connection when possible.

After the baby arrives

Expect some behaviour that seems younger, more demanding, or more emotional. A major change can temporarily increase a child's need for reassurance.

Acknowledge the difficulty without making the baby responsible for every limit: instead of “I can't because of the baby,” use “I can't right now; I'll come when I finish this.”

What to avoid

Avoid promising that the baby will immediately be a playmate. Also avoid turning the older child into a helper with responsibilities they did not choose.