Tantrums and emotions
A tantrum, a hit, a phrase like “I’m stupid”, or frustration that feels enormous can leave you feeling that you need to stop the behaviour immediately. But before looking for a technique, it helps to ask what is happening and what your child needs to learn in that moment.
Emotions are not the problem. The challenge is learning to recognize them, express them, and regulate them without hurting themselves or others. And that is not learned through explanations alone: children need an adult who can hold the boundary while also helping them put words to what is happening.
If your child is overwhelmed right now
When the intensity is high, it is not the best moment for a lecture or a reflection. First, enough calm needs to return.
Validating does not mean giving in. You can acknowledge “you’re really angry” and still hold “I won’t let you hit.”
If frustration is the hard part
Frustration is part of learning. Supporting your child does not mean removing every difficulty or solving it before they have a chance to try.
What matters here is separating the result from the person: something can be hard without becoming a definition of who they are.
If you want to help them talk about feelings
Listening before solving, offering words without imposing them, and talking about emotions when things are calm all help build emotional language.
A general answer can guide you. If you want to understand why this keeps happening with your child, tell Kora what happens before, during, and after.
